Dad's Shave of Doom

Dad is extremely particular about who’s allowed near his face with sharp objects. Haircuts? Only by trusted hands. Beard trims? Even fewer candidates. So when Mom — whose barbering experience is limited to cutting tags off new clothes — offered to give him a shave, the stakes couldn’t have been higher.

For those who don’t know, Dad is living with dementia. Some days are crystal clear, others feel a little foggier. Even simple routines — like a shave — can feel bigger, louder, and more surprising than they might for someone else. That’s why we try to approach these moments with extra patience, a lot of love, and, when possible, a good sense of humor. We’ve visited a few professionals but they aren’t able to give him the look he wants and this usually ends up sour for all involved. Today, Mom wanted to save face.

Mom’s logic: “It’s a 50/50 chance — either it looks good, or he’s gonna be maaaad.”

Dad’s logic: “If this goes wrong, everyone in the house is gonna hear about it.”

Hesitant but hopeful, Mom brought out the family’s prized 1990s electric shaver. (They like to call it a “vintage grooming tool.” In reality, it belonged in a museum exhibit titled Early Beard Management Attempts.)

At first, things seemed fine — she was very careful, precise, and a few smooth passes, no problem. Then the gears started to grind. The blades began to sound like a tractor coughing its last breath. Smoke drifted upward, stinging Dad’s eyes. Then came the click — followed by the unmistakable sensation of hair being yanked out by the roots.

In Dad’s mind, this was now a life-threatening event.

“You clipped me! There goes my face! Am I bleeding? WHAT are you doing? That’s it — STOP! I can’t trust anyone!”

Mom anxiously stepped back to assess the damage. Half his face was shaved, maybe a random bald patch, the other half untouched. Dad, too frazzled to continue, decided to just leave it — like a man halfway through a makeover who changed his mind mid-snip.

The good news:

• Appointment with a professional barber: scheduled.

• Amazon order for new clippers: on the way.

The bad news: 😉Dad now tenses up whenever Mom walks into the room holding anything with a cord.

Your still handsome, Dad — and Mom, you are ever so brave. ❤️